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I have read about so many sad tales about marriages and I have seen similar pitfalls. Please note that my post is from a man’s view and does not aim to bring down women. I am also posting this because many young men do not get solid advice on how to pick their partners.
It is only when you get married that you begin to understand marriage. However, young men, if you adhere to some of the advices below, you will avoid some marital pitfalls and approach marriage from a logical point of view.
No 1 – Never marry for love. Love should never be the underlying factor to marry a woman. Why – marriage is a long term commitment for the foreseeable future. Love is an emotional situation and just like every other emotions, love comes and goes. There would be days and even months, that your partner irritates and disgust you. If love is the main reason you marry, young man, you would be heading for the divorce court.
No 2 – Never marry a single mother. What ever you do, never ever marry a single mother. Don’t start your family with another man’s family. Start your family brand new. I would love to explain this fully, but it would make this post longer.
No 3 – Assess and conduct proper due diligence on your future in-laws. Know your in-laws properly. Know their source of livelihood. Ensure your future in-laws are doing financially well as well as the siblings of your future wife. You will not enjoy your marriage when excessive financial burdens fall on you. Except you are excessively wealthy, which I doubt as a young man starting off life, and you have a big heart as well as a big house, don’t marry a woman where you cannot verify her family income.
No 4 – Don’t marry a lady from a broken home. Many women will paint a story of not leaving their marriage because they are from a broken home. However, please note these women do not have the knowledge, opportunity or privilege to be in a stable household. Many of them did not see their mothers adore and respect their fathers. Many only get to hear about negative information of their fathers. These are the first set of women to leave their marriage when things take a downward spin. If you want to have an idea of how your wife would treat you, look at how her mother behaves or treat her father and if the father is not around, this is a huge risk.
No 5 – Never marry for beauty. I don’t need to explain this so much. Beauty fades as one age and even if it doesn’t, beauty becomes inconsequential during marriage. Behavioral attitude matters a lot. At some point, your wife’s beauty becomes non existent and you begin to see her as an individual and not because she is beautiful.
No 6 – Assess your future wife’s friends and those who influence her. Women are largely insecure. Many rely on the advices of their friends, family, or spiritual leaders to make decisions. You have to assess the character of the person who has a major influence on your future wife. You have no choice on this because this individual would be running your home from his/her own location. If the individual is of no good and your future wife cannot cut ties, don’t marry such a woman. If the individual is of good standing, befriend such individual.
No 7 – Polygamous home – if the father of your future wife do not have a strong influence over his large family, run away.
No 8 – Never marry for food or sex. These are things a man with good income can easily get. Don’t let this form an opinion for selecting a wife. As you age, your sex drive dwindles down. Also, you get preoccupied with other more important things. For food, we can all agreed many of us eat out either due to the job or recreational purposes. Furthermore, food and sex do not define a man. If this is why you want to get married, think again.
No 9 – Never marry an illiterate, semi-educated or poorly educated woman. This is actually because of your kids. Women play a pivotal role for the early development of kids. An educated smart woman would raise smart kids.
No 10 – Never marry a prostitute. We get to hear prostitutes make fine wives. I wonder the foolish set of people who pushed the agenda. A prostitute has no regards for her body and health. She is highly materialistic and considers money to be her ONLY master. Prostitutes have served a wide range of different men and are only with men for money. A prostitute would marry you for the financial security you bring. She would be the first to sleep with your friends when that financial security no longer exist. She also may continue to indulge in her sexual escapades whilst married because she enjoys the thrills.